Monday, January 7, 2008

Orthodontist observations

In a few weeks, I will visit the orthodontist, the theme park of American medicine.

I have fun when I go there, and I generally hate doctors, preferring to let most illnesses "run their course." My orthodontist recently moved to a very posh office, complete with a huge plasma TV bolted into the wall in the waiting room, four little kiosk video games for the kids who make up most of the clientele, and a Tassimo coffee/tea maker for the moms that have to wait. There are raffles on the counter near the reception desk to win iPods and tickets to Six Flags amusement park. Last time, I guessed how many M & Ms were in a glass snowman. (285) Alongside the chairs where kids get braces, more virtual reality video games await.

At this office, you don't give your name to the receptionist, like at every other doctor's appointment. You walk over to a computer and type in your last name, and hit "enter" to announce you've arrived.

This was all pretty new to me last year when I decided that I wanted to straighten out my teeth and invest more than $4,000 for a plastic retainer called Invisalign. You're supposed to wear these all day except for eating, and after about a year (for me) your teeth realign. I am proof that the technology works, even though I don't follow the rules. (I usually just wear the retainers at night.)

At the orthodontist, the staff treats its patients extraordinarily kindly, a shocking thing to experience at a doctor's office. It could be that they're used to seeing kids all the time and maybe have an improved bedside manner. Or maybe I get special treatment because I'm one of the only adult patients they see all day, and we can talk about something other than the teachers who I have this year.

Being a patient at this practice comes with its share of surprises, too. A few months ago, for example, I received an invitation in the mail. When I opened the envelope, a card read, "Let's Go to The Movies!" My orthodontist rented out a movie theater to see the latest Harry Potter film. I didn't go, but I'm looking forward to the next invitation - hopefully for something a little more grown-up, like tickets to see a UConn basketball game.

It should be pointed out that my insurance does not cover orthodontic work - nor do most kids' parents insurance, I presume. So, at $3,000 to $4,000 per patient, my doctor can afford the latest technology, plasma TVs, more office staff than she might need, and little headsets on the secretaries like Bobby Brown wore in his "My Prerogative" video. Okay, that's showing my age.

Regardless of the glitz - actually because of it -I'm looking forward to my next appointment. I like being greeted by the friendly office staff. And the results of the last raffle might be in. Who knows? I just might be going to Six Flags for free!